Saturday, April 16, 2005
april games...ok lorh only tot that i hav after which is..i'm burnt...hehex...today a bit weird...ok i admit...super duper ultra weird...cuz i keep sayin lame stuff...sorry to those hu had to suffer from my lame tok....den i went home and finished the bk xiangwang lent me...one of it anyway... 寂寞是连自己都忘了喜欢一个人的感觉。。。所以我不寂寞。。。因为我没有忘记。。。但是我喜欢他可能是因为我寂寞。。。为了不让自己寂寞。。。就去喜欢。。。。就不寂寞了。。。these totz kinda went through me...den i tot of those guys that i SERIOUSLY liked b4...den i realise all of them are irreplaceable...cuz they're all diff. they taught me diff. things about life...taught me about needing to treasure urself...about wat is concern...wat is love...wat is sacrifice...wat is letting go...and wat is irreplaceable....my mind kinda dun work in proper way...i tink n tink n tink of stuff non stop...lotsa lame stuff maybe...but kinda impt to me...makes me grow up...sorta...i read the bk eunice lent me...one part says...when u forget all the manipulative skills that u learnt in the dating game...den it's love...ok...den i guess....it oso says that love is subjective....i totally agree with that...one part says love is 2 favor beyond the constraints of reason....well...kinda wanna wake myself up already...guess i noe wat is goin on..or do i?? perhaps ba....try my best...
[ ` guarded by my angels * ] at 5:45 PM
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
omg sick again...siao one...tink too stressed out liaoz...nvm at least giv me a chance to stay at home n sort tings out...n blog...well basically still tryin to study hard...argh...njc njc njc...(btw my mentor is from njc muahaha)....den well after tryin so hard to get miss chia to change my place she still isn't convince...cuz?? she tink my grades are gd ...bleahz...april games juz passed...my class n 4/3 did ok i tink...since they're the onli team i watch so there isn't much to compare with...den there's the long awaited SYF...n then wat?? i was sick...fever flu sore throat..win liaoz lo...the worst time to get sick....i still made it there though...i mean we all worked so hard for so long...suffered so much...gave up so much time..jux for the 6++ min on the stage...we worked 6++months for 6++ min ...we didn't get gold with honours...we onli got gold...i'm ok with that...cuz i sorta expected it...tink vernus sorta tink she's responsible for it...but truthfully...she did a great job as a chairman...she's the best chairman since i joined dance actualli....so vernus...believe in urself..u're the best...
spoke to lyn on the phone few days bac...tink she's more mature then me..or rather she mature faster than me...we mature in diff ways though...i can speak n write of life more...but she can feel more...but i stil tink i got more sense then her...rite girl?? thx though...u made me see something...it's takes strength to hold on...but sometimes it takes more strength to let go...
i made a decision...i quit being ppl's lao gong....put aside the fact that it's tiring..throwing aside this status...is a start for tryin to break into a new life....so..
luan,chong,eu,lyn,lynette,weili,pat(was it ever official anyway),nan....we're sisters from today onwards...
as for my gors...tink there's onli one i hav to giv up...thatz qiao...come on...she a girl...we'll be sisters from today onwards...
may this entry be the last of the old selian that u knew...i've said of this change for a thousand times...let this be the once it will realli happen...
thanking the ppl hu made an impact in my life... mom, 2 aunts, sis, ting, kah hwee (gor from pri sch), God (how can i ever forget that), fabian, mui hiang, xiying, xingying, luan, jenn (my rawking ipw member), sharon (blur jie), eunice, qiao, shuyi, pat, yiqiang, yang han, chong, vernus, lyn, kat,fangyi, wenfeng, xiangwang, kenny, congshun, yongz, jingjie, lynette, nan, khairul, sihui, yu min, anqi, eunice2, peggy, weijie, dean, liyin, karmun, anjali, mardiah, nasirah,fifa, jacintha, prashanti, shiu kit, jinru, weili,naomi..
ppl hu influenced me but yet to b'cum my fren sec 3 weiting, mrs tan (come on la fren??), cherie, gary(come on tis two is on everyone's list), mr ari (argh he's gone), ****** and friends....
things that influenced me.. experiencing God day-by-day(thatz a bk), some quotes, di's song (or u rather i say energy's song), music
well hope i didn't miss out anyone....or anything....may all these continue to spur me on...n not fall bac into that pit again.....
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