Wednesday, May 14, 2008
i had a horrible dream...it wasn't exactly a nightmare cause there was no element of fright...just a lot of pain... i had a similar dream a while ago...i think i mentioned it a little...but this time it is worse... why? everytime i wanna turn my back n leave... everytime i summon all my courage... why am i reminded again... why does my own brain use ur death in my dream to scare me...
let's just presume it is due to the fact that i closed myself up in my house for 2 days n have not exercised.... maybe i'll go down to the esplanade today... just for the fun of it... then it'll take all the confusion outta my head...
i'm still in depression from the dream... maybe breakfast will help... if i can eat any in the first place...
no worries ppl i'm fine
[ ` guarded by my angels * ] at 10:23 AM
Monday, May 12, 2008
went for CL performance on friday...it was pretty interesting to watch how the juniors have grown since we last saw them...and seeing the teachers again felt very different...xiying say she felt 'out' of the crowd...like most of them are juniors n stuff...duno y i didn't have that feeling...felt as if it was back to the old days at AJ...we only graduated for less than half a year anyway...
these few days i have been reading up on university stuff...halls...activities...scholorships for yr 2...exchange programmes...let's hope this time i will kick my usual habits of not studying for exams...
now...i have a goal...and a dream...a vision...something to work for...seems impossible...but haven't they said that nothing is impossible??
there are lapses of time when i felt empty...not in the depressed way...just...empty...den i think about xingying...xiying...muihiang...lyndy...huiqi...iting...2/1 and 35'06...church friends...workplace ppl...den i smile...i am not alone...i never was...i just chose to be...my friends never wanted me to be alone...never...they were always there...just waiting for me to hold their hands...(sorry ah emo-ing for no reason again...maybe is bcuz i just woke up...haha)
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